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Creating Tribal Traditions that Strengthen Family Bonds
 By
Henry D. Landes
October 2000
Traditions are powerful forces in family life. The people who
share in these events anticipate them eagerly and treasure the experience
and the memories that accumulate through a lifetime. The collection
of family traditions helps create a "tribal history" that
serves as a record of a unique group of people at a specific place
in time.
Traditions in business families take on a special meaning and
importance. First, the definition of family may be somewhat different
and more inclusive than one's nuclear family. Business families,
not infrequently, are multi-generational and include siblings and
spouses. In the flurry of living and running a business, too many
families may neglect the need for and wonderful benefits of some
traditions that can feed the soul of a business family in its most
inclusive sense. The reality is that not all family members are
"business" members. Yet, family is and must always be
the priority. Creating some business family traditions can enrich
family ties and help bind those who work together to those who do
not.
One of our members, Nick Forst, founder of the Jenkintown-based
Lincoln Investment Planning, Inc., sings the praises of strong,
frequent family gatherings that evolve into traditions more priceless
than gold. "After 17 years as an engineer with RCA and working
on such projects as the lunar module, I scrapped it all," says
Nick, "so I could be with family. I started Lincoln Investing
some years ago. Now, all six of our kids are in the business and
all are directors, three sons and three daughters. We've grown tremendously
to become a nationwide company with 30 branch offices. But, we've
never lost sight of the need to keep the family bond first. We have
a bunch of family traditions. One of my favorites is taking my 19
grandchildren to a different dude ranch out west, something we've
done now for the past ten years. I leave their parents at home because
they'd be scared if they knew all the crazy stuff we were doing,"
says Nick. "Long ago we adopted the attitude, any excuse to
get together is a good excuse—birthdays, holidays, you name
it. We're a family that works together and plays together and we'd
have it no other way. We don't plan things to death. I'm convinced
that it's especially important to spend time together. As far as
I'm concerned, keeping relationships alive is the basis for a successful
family. "We've been lucky," says Nick, "but maybe
that luck comes about because we really care for one another and
do a lot to keep that caring in good shape."
Closer to home, my wife Jane's family is scattered to the four
winds and yet her family is committed to gathering every year and
a half or so for three days at a retreat center just to "hang
out" and hear the tales of each other's lives. Theirs is a
"moveable feast" that may convene in Florida, Colorado,
or Pennsylvania. The site is secondary to the people, the fun, conversation,
the fellowship, and breaking of bread together. It's a tradition
and it's good.
Family traditions are renewing, reassuring respites in the midst
of hectic lives. They're a creative form of health maintenance for
the most important relationships in our lives. It's sort of like
taking the family in for a lube, oil, and filter.
How do you honor family? What are the big and not-so-big traditions
that keep your family life special and apart from the business?
Share your story and it just may be included in our Policy
Handbook for Business Families.
Oh, and if you're looking for an event to start a new family tradition,
consider bringing your family to our Family Business in Alaska Seminar,
July 15-28, 2001.
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