Letting Go: Painful but Essential
 By
Henry D. Landes
March 2004
I learned once again recently – up close and very personal
– what it’s like to let go, to give up something that
is near and dear to my heart. In January I resigned from my deeply
satisfying work as Chair of TEC 341, a group of 16 remarkable CEOs
from all over the Delaware Valley.
TEC stands for The Executive Committee, an international association
of CEOs based in San Diego. The worldwide leader in CEO development,
TEC now has more than 9,000 members in 15 countries.
My initial appointment as a TEC Chair came in 1993. For the first
five years it was my privilege to chair two TEC groups.
In addition to our monthly full-day group meetings, I met individually
with each CEO monthly for executive coaching. Since the mission
of TEC is to increase the effectiveness and enhance the lives of
CEOs … we talked about everything from key indicators to kids!
TEC members are a special breed of high-performing CEOs, deeply
committed to their own personal and professional development and
to the growth of their companies and people. I found my work with
them exhilarating and enriching.
For the past year, however, my board of directors has been urging
me to focus more of my energy and time on the Family Business Center.
After overcoming significant internal resistance, last October I
began the painful process of saying goodbye to a powerful CEO learning
community – relationships I have valued deeply over the past
10 years.
In my work with families who are in business together, I frequently
counsel senior owners that a well-timed succession plan is essential,
that knowing when and how to step aside is a gift to themselves,
as well as the business and other family members. I’ve never
said it was easy. Yes, it’s tough to give up a cherished role
when the time comes, to bow out gracefully.
Leadership transitions are tricky – for the “leaving”
leader, for the new leader, and for all the members of the group
or business. I’ve often said a leadership transition is a
dangerous opportunity, a critical choice point that can either enhance
or diminish group or business performance.
Of course, the proper preparation and thoughtful selection of a
competent and committed successor is paramount. But it’s also
important to acknowledge the normal grief, the feelings
of loss (sometimes even anger or depression) that accompany almost
all significant transitions.
Over the past several months it has been helpful to me and to group
members to talk individually about the past years … to honor
valued relationships, to express appreciation for our journey together
and to begin to envision a new future.
At our regular TEC monthly meeting on January 8, these reflective
conversations culminated in a powerful “ritual of transition.”
By chance (or maybe not), my last meeting with TEC 341 was hosted
by member Mark Worthington – whose company, Worthington Associates,
specializes in building churches – at the Mt. Airy Church
of God in Christ, Philadelphia.
It was with deep satisfaction and high expectations that I passed
the baton of leadership to the new Chair, Hank O’Donnell,
a longtime member of the group. At Hank’s direction, senior
members of the group (including Peter Wright, a charter member since
1986) reviewed the evolving culture of the group, with special focus
on the “Henry Era.” Then it was my turn … I addressed
each member individually, noting what they had taught me, their
gift to the group and my vision for their future. These were holy
moments for me – full of laughter and tears!
Yes, it’s true. Letting go is hard. But letting
go is a normal and necessary part of the cycle of living, loving
and learning. It’s a time of confusion and uncertainty, celebration
and sadness, excitement and anticipation.
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